What might have been...

Lately, I've been pondering "what might have been."  I am struggling with a project I feel I should have finished years ago.  I have struggled with the overwhelming sense that I was meant to do this for decades now.  But the project is not done and I am still struggling.  Since I am older now, I have started to ask myself, "What am I to learn from this?"  None of the pondering bring me peace, only remorse for not doing it.  So to add to the remorse of not accomplishing this task, I have started the pondering of what might have been.

If I thought this line of thinking would motivate me, I was wrong.  I am now not only depressed because this task seems to great, but I am mourning the lose of perceived missed opportunities.  This line of thinking has come about from reading about quantum physics.  My understanding of quantum physics is that there are alternate dimensions where the realities of different choices are played out.  I want to move to a different movie theater. I want to see the results of what might have been.  I realize that I am picturing the results as better but my voice of reason is saying it may not be true.

I know I need to stay present.  My forgiveness mantra of "You did the best you could do."  is probably appropriate.  Shouldn't life be lived backwards?  We start with the wisdom and truth that we have learned throughout our years and live an entire enlightened life. Okay, back to the present - the struggle.

What perspective can I adopt that will help me get through this project?  I will ponder this today.  Stay tuned...